hello.
wow, this week has been really crazy. the work for conference is really piling up, praise God i have cleared the overall look for the youth conference. brochures and posters have been sent for print. we are printing a total of 10,000 brochures and 1,000 posters! i guess jeremy is pretty excited over the event too. he has been stay back in the office with me to work on the collaterals. working hours and datelines have been tight. my dark circles are slowly coming back again. haha somehow i think it makes my eyes look bigger. but a very accomplishing week though - i really had a lot of fun doing the youth ministry designs (much lesser of a chore than the caring community booklet stuff) next, edge conference website and video promo! :)

well, i think on work wise, i am still living up to my reputation. i have been kinda out of the whole bible school thing for a whole 3 months now. the work at church has been taking a toll on my schedule. there is just too much that needs to be done! now i have collected a good month of study break leave. no idea how to clear them man. so when i can, i run away for a bit. next week i am taking my wed and thursday off to help friend in a photo shoot with utt. it is going to be exciting! working with him really reminds me of days in poly. really like talking about design stuff with him too... makes me feel less of a 'frog in a well.' he is going off to study in UK by the end of next month though. i am really happy for him. his future is really looking good. :)

met ade the other day and caught up with her at northpoint. it has been a year since i last met her. she hasn't changed much. still whiney and thinks i am a self-absorbed loud flamboyant himbo (what's new right) we ate some dinner at hongkong cafe and went over to starbucks for my fav apple crumble cheesecake. she complained that the coconut in the crumble is giving her itchiness in the throat. ah whatever. i miss that strawberry shortcake we had during our birthday three years ago. ahhh~ sun moulin cake and mccafe and taking photos of other people's butt cracks. hahah those were the days!

reminiscing has become a common hobby for me now. i watch people hop off the bus and on to James Cook University. i think about UK, RMIT and i think about TP. i think about australia photographs with Jean and i think about making a fool of ourselves at angkeong. it is pretty pathetic to be living in the past i guess... but i can't help it! i really miss the old poly friends. umbrella volleyball in the design studio! i always refered jenna and ade as the two wild child girls school girls who love popcorn. jean was the scratchy indie girl and josh the geek who always had a thing for jean but failed. hahahaha! aw man both of them are like stars in the local music scene now.

i know what i am doing with my life. and i know where i am to go. but i think i always have this mentality that what i am doing now is like honorable and like a messianic sacrifice. total bad mindset. i don't understand why i keep struggling to be totally happy with what i am doing. don't get me wrong, i am not like bitter or hating working at the church and doing bible school... but i think there is still that little part of me that desires to go wild and crazy and out of control. inner child? inner beast? inner desires? ah, not too sure what cool name should go with that feeling. i don't know what to say exactly to conclude this thought either.

i guess i am human afterall. and this empty discontent will follow us everywhere. Bible School or Saint Martin College of Arts, church office or design firm, saturdays at theEDGE or clubs, cell groups/discipling or aimless roaming at esplanade... there is bound to be something that i would be unhappy about.

thank God that i know Jesus. that is probably the only thing that i can't be unhappy about. hahah i remember when aunty Joy asked me, "who is your God?" when i was about 5, i ran around the whole house pointing at all the little statues that my dad collected. i didn't leave out the dragon paperweight or that lion dance head that hung on my wall. Aunty Joy then followed that question with, "so do you know Jesus?" i shook my head. she smiled and patted my head. "well, two thousand years ago....."